19 things I’ve learnt in 19 years

  1. Life isn’t always fair. There will be time where you are screwed over and feel like you’ve got no luck but that is life. You may not be able to control all the shitty things happening to you but you can control how you react to it and what you take away from it. If you don’t get a job and yet you clearly are more qualified for it than the person who got it don’t be mad and give up, work on what you did wrong and work harder to find something better. Know that things aren’t always fair and build yourself up from that.
  2. Most people don’t actually care and will be around you for some sort of personal gain. As animals we are programmed on survival instincts, human beings will just watch out for themselves and so you need to be aware of that. Be kind by all means but don’t be naive, some people want you around for something they gain from you whether that be money or power or connections it happens. Always be wary of people’s intentions and follow your gut instinct.
  3. Life is so fucking short. This one is the cold hard truth, you don’t get too long on this earth. We have a life span of 70-100 years if you’re lucky, so only live for yourself and fuck what anyone else thinks. Be kind but live for yourself because at the end of your life why should you have any regrets because you cared what other people thought.
  4. It’s okay to not know what you want to do, but it’s not okay to give up on any sort of ambition. I spent my entire Sixth Form not knowing which university to apply for and for which course and it caused me so much stress and anxiety because nobody had told me that it was okay not to know. Once it came to the end of A2 and I just stopped looking, I focussed on my exams and then the opportunity to go to college and follow a career I was interested in found me. It’s okay to not know but you’ve still got to work hard to find what you enjoy in the meantime. At work I came across this phrase “it’s okay to not be able to do something but it’s never okay to not try” and this is so true. It’s okay if you don’t know something or struggle to achieve things but you cannot just give up on it because that is not gonna help you succeed. You need to know that it will be hard but it will be worth it when you get the results.
  5. Make sure you leave the house at least once a day, this is so important for your physical and mental health. Whether that be you sit outside for 10 minutes or go for an hours hike, get outside and be slightly active to help keep your mind clear.
  6. Don’t be ashamed to reach out for help if you need it, we are on a mental health awareness journey right now in society and with so many people reaching out and allowing their vulnerability to show has really shown that mental health is a huge issue. Never be embarrassed to tell a friend or a family member or a professional you are struggling and you need help. You cannot be the best version of yourself if your mind or body is not functioning properly.
  7. There is no pressure to be like somebody else, the only person making you not be yourself is you. People are so caught up in what other people MIGHT think of them that they lose sight of what’s really happening. You are the only person saying you should be a different person because other people might not like who you are. You need to own who you are and just be yourself, you are loved for who you are and should never make yourself feel like you’re a person not worth being.
  8. Heartbreakingly, your grandparents aren’t always going to be around so make the most of them. This is the hardest hitting one for me right now, I lost my grandparents within the space of 18 months and it has really broken my heart and soul. My Nan was my biggest fan and I have never been as close to a person as I was with her. I feel guilty everyday that I didn’t realise how quickly they can be taken away from us. I’m not saying give up your life for them but make the effort because at the end of the day you will only be left with memories.
  9. Have respect for everyone until they show you a reason not to show them respect. Respect is a key aspect of any form of relationship whether that be friendship, professional relationships or personal ones they all need to built on respect. You will get so much further in life when you show respect from the beginning than making people feel like they have to earn it. Things work out better for you if you show respect from the start.
  10. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. This has proven to me as a very important thing to know when it comes to work especially, I’ve noticed that I’ve seemed to get introduced to opportunities. This also links back to number 1, maybe this isn’t fair but it really does help to know and be on good terms with many people. If you are nice to as many people as you can be this will always be returned to you, just remember what goes around will come back around.
  11. Work unbelievably hard. This is a given, anything that you’ve got that you’ve worked really hard for will be 100 times more valuable than something that was just given to you. This doesn’t mean you don’t need any help with anything it just means that you will feel better about anything you have in life if you’ve really earned it. The intrinsic value is much more valuable than the extrinsic value.
  12. Treasure your time at school and in education in general because it really is the best time of your life. School is fucking hard man, trust me I know but the little community and the support you get at school is something I wish existed in adult life. To be honest the holidays are such a good thing, in adult life you get between 2-4 weeks holiday but in school you get around 13 weeks of holidays which gives you a decent amount of freedom. School can seem really shitty whilst you’re in it but once you’ve left you really seem to miss aspects of school life such as routine or constant friendship.
  13. See as many countries as possible before you settle down with responsibilities. Having kids is amazing. Having a husband or wife is amazing. Getting a house and settling down is amazing. However with all these amazing things comes huge responsibility and it can mean that you are restricted. So explore when your income is (practically) disposable and you’ve not got other people relying on you.
    Only give your time to people who earn it, some people just don’t deserve it. The first few years after school ended really showed me who was friends with me because we saw each other everyday and who was friends with me because they cared about me and had respect for me. This is hard and awfully upsetting but they don’t deserve your time. Your time is so precious to you because it’s all you will ever have and so only give it to the best of people who are good for you.
  1. It’s okay to walk away from people and to cut them off when they are damaging to you. Like I said in 14, some people don’t deserve your time or love and it’s okay to walk away from that. You are only responsible for your happiness not there’s, if they treat you like shit they don’t deserve you to help them be happy.
  2. Love with your whole heart and trust with your whole soul, the lessons you will learn from that will be so important. This could seem counterproductive, this also could cause you pain and heartache but once that has happened it shows you the real lessons of life. It shows you how people love, how people want to be love, how people aren’t perfect, what you want in a friend or a life partner and how different peoples morals are to yours. It is more worthwhile to you to just love as much as you can whilst still protecting yourself.
  3. Learn about money, learn how to save it and how to spend it wisely. The summer after my GCSE’s I worked three jobs and earned about £200 a week which is decent for a 16 year old and yet where was that money after the summer? I pissed it away on late night takeaways, clothes I didn’t need and other shite because I knew nothing of saving my money. Now I earn between £100-170 a week because I’m still at college and 80% of it goes into my savings and the rest is to buy the essentials such as travel to college and food. Go to your local bank and ask advice, ask your parents about saving and find out as much valuable information about money you can.
  4. Do whatever makes you feel passionate, pursue your hobbies and talents as long as it makes you happy. Never feel ashamed of what you love or what gives you passion because as long as it’s not illegal or doesn’t hurt anybody else it is beautiful. Do your hobbies as much as you can and don’t be embarrassed, because it is a part of your authentic self and that is amazing.
  5. What is meant for you won’t miss you, ASK THE UNIVERSE! This is a new thing to me and the Law of Attraction/ asking the universe is a really interesting thing. If you put your dreams or needs out into the universe in any way, it might just come back to you. And if not it gives you something to work towards.

Thank you for reading this long post but I felt like this is my greatest pieces of advice I can give you if you ever need it.

19 Comments

  1. Completely agree with number 4, I always used to stress about not knowing what I wanted to do and it made me feel like everyone else around me had a plan and I was just a bit lost. It took me ages to realise that it was okay to not completely know what I want to do with my life!

    Beth x | https://bethrebecca.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reading! Yeah sometimes the world just puts unnecessary pressure on young people and realistically it will be okay if know what you want to do right now or not. I’m so glad I’m not the only one to think this!

      Like

    1. Thank you so much! Not gonna lie to you this was on a display board in the nursery I work at and I just loved it! It is something that’s really stuck with me, like especially with things I’m trying to succeed at but don’t know how to!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your attitude about this post! All of the things you mentioned are so true and worth mentioning for sure. I loved reading “school is fucking hard man”, it made me laugh lol! All or most of the things you mentioned above are what I also stand for as well. Work hard, be kind, be smart, have your wits about you. Be ambitious, don’t give up, and don’t be embarrassed to ask for help! We will all need it. It was really nice to read the things you’ve learned and valued in your 19 years. They are all soo important!

    Liked by 1 person

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